


On Purpose

by Ellessey



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 01:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17274671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellessey/pseuds/Ellessey
Summary: 'It’s almost impossible for Daichi to keep his breathing regular, to keep appearing to be asleep. To not open his eyes and see if Suga is doing this intentionally or not. He waits a full ten minutes, counting them in his head, before slowly opening his eyes.Suga is on his side, pale lashes resting on paler cheeks, breathing soft and steady. He seems to be asleep. He seems even more beautiful right now than he usually does. He is definitely still holding Daichi’s hand.'--Every night of training camp, Daichi winds up with Suga right next to him, as close as he's always wanted him to be. He really wants that to happen during the day, too, but he needs to find out if Suga feels the same.





	On Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> For DaiSuga Day 2019, because these two are always the very best way to start the year <333

The first time it happens, Daichi thinks it’s an accident. Just Suga’s hand brushing his in sleep, with their bedrolls next to each other, as they always are at training camps. It’s the first night of camp, and Daichi has had his eyes closed for a while even though he isn’t that tired, because for the most part his kouhai can be counted on to shut up once their captain appears to be sleeping. The first years learned quickly enough that Daichi can go from “sleeping” to terrifying in less than a second if they start messing around. And Suga is usually ready to capture the horror on their faces with his phone if that happens.

Everyone is quiet tonight though, even Suga has stopped shifting beside him. So when warm fingertips skim over his, and then a solid shoulder presses against him, he thinks Suga has just moved too close unintentionally, fast asleep and unaware.

Daichi is very aware. He lies with his eyes wide open in the dark, his face turned away from his friend. He’s spent a lot of time over the last three years looking at Suga’s hands. Watching his fingers spread to set the ball, watching them slap together as he claps and yells himself hoarse, encouraging the team every moment he's not on the court. He’s watched them slide absentmindedly through soft, silver, hair, and he’s kicked himself again and again for not being brave enough to do the same with his own.

He must fall asleep eventually, because he’s startled into wakefulness by Kageyama yelling at Hinata for drooling on his pillow (which Daichi isn’t even going to touch, because why was Hinata on his pillow in the first place). He turns to his left to see Suga just blinking his eyes open, his shoulder still wedged against Daichi’s.

“Ready to kick some ass, Captain?” he asks sleepily, stretching his arms above himself and breaking the contact between them.

“Ready to not spend the day doing flying falls,” Daichi says, loud enough for the rest of the boys to hear. “Got that everyone? Up! Let’s go, let's do our best today!”

The teams scrambles out of bed, rushing to grab clean shorts and t-shirts so they can get breakfast before practice begins.

“Sleep okay?” Daichi asks Suga, once it's just the two of them, straightening all the blankets so no one trips over them when they come back.

“Great,” Suga says easily, which answers not a single question for Daichi. Did Suga even realize they were touching? Did he realize and think nothing of it? Is it really terrible, if that’s the case, that Daichi thinks everything of it?

He pulls himself together, because Suga is looking at him curiously now, teasing him for being so slow. He tries not to think about it for the rest of the day, how nice it had been to fall asleep with Suga so close, to wake up to his weight right there next to him.

He cannot avoid thinking about it when they’re in bed again at the end of the day, tired and sore. The first years are out immediately, and everyone else follows quickly enough, except for Daichi. It feels like hours pass, it feels like Suga is much too far away, curled up on his own mat, turned away from Daichi. It feels like a jolt of electricity when he’s almost drifted into sleep himself and there’s a sudden touch on the back of his hand where it rests on his stomach, and then Suga’s hand settling over it, fingers slipping in between Daichi’s.

It’s almost impossible to keep his breathing regular, to keep appearing to be asleep. To not open his eyes and see if Suga is doing this intentionally or not. He waits a full ten minutes, counting them in his head, before slowly opening his eyes.

Suga is on his side, pale lashes resting on paler cheeks, breathing soft and steady. He seems to be asleep. He seems even more beautiful right now than he usually does. He is definitely still holding Daichi’s hand.

“Suga?” Daichi whispers, because he wants to know so badly if he’s holding it on purpose. Suga doesn’t stir though, so Daichi closes his eyes again and tries not to think too hard about the warmth of Suga’s palm, and the way it’s making his entire chest feel like a sunrise.

*

When he wakes, Suga is close to him, but they’re not holding hands anymore. Daichi’s not convinced it ever happened at all. Maybe just a dream, or so much wishful thinking that he’s imagining things now.

“We didn’t do _that_ badly yesterday,” Suga says, startling him out of his thoughts. He’s awake now, cheek pillowed on his hand and looking up at Daichi. “Don’t look so morose.”

“We lost every match but one,” Daichi says, even though that doesn’t really bother him. They’re working hard and he can see the improvements they’re making. The whole point of this camp is for them to come up against walls and learn how to climb them together. It’s just this other wall, this non-volleyball related one, that’s giving him a hard time.

“ _Excellent_ flying falls, though,” Suga says, with a classic Suga smile that manages to be full of sweetness and salt all at once. “We’re nailing those.”

“I’m one giant bruise,” Tanaka groans from somewhere on Suga’s other side.

Daichi’s body feels about the same, but he shakes it off as he gets up and ready for the day, and pushes away all his spinning thoughts about Suga, because they don’t really matter. Suga is smiling at him, and he’s his best friend, and he’ll push the team with Daichi today, driving them in just the right way to keep everyone fired up. Whether or not he meant to hold Daichi’s hand in the night doesn’t change any of that.

He does fairly well remembering that for most of the day. Their practice matches are tough, and Daichi is determined to make the most of them, so he doesn’t have time to dwell on his leftover thoughts from this morning. The end of training finds him so tired that he probably wouldn’t even be able to stay awake to dwell, if it weren’t for the way Suga looks when he comes back to the room after his bath. His hair is still wet, sending little drops of water down his neck, and he's dressed in shorts that show more lean, muscular thigh than Daichi can handle, and a sleeveless shirt that shouldn’t even be legal.

“Daichi, you’re being so weird today,” Suga says, dropping down next to him. He smells like late summer afternoons, sunny and clean, and his skin is still a bit pink from being scrubbed.

“I’m not,” Daichi says, a little affronted. He’s been remarkably normal today, considering.

“Every time I look at you you’re lost in thought.”

“How much are you looking at me?” Daichi asks, hoping to turn the tables so Suga will stop scrutinizing him.

Suga just smiles with a shrug of his shoulders, bare and strong and dotted with beauty marks that Daichi doesn’t usually get to see. “You’re okay, right? You’d say if something was wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Daichi says.

It isn’t a lie, everything is actually pretty great. Training is going well, Suga is beside him, and he’ll sleep right next to him again tonight. It’s just Daichi’s stupid heart that needs to relax. His brain that needs to stop overthinking. Suga probably doesn’t even realize he’s moved so close to Daichi in the night. He’s probably just a little uncomfortable sleeping away from home. Just reaching out unconsciously for something familiar.

“I’m good,” Daichi adds, with a genuine smile, glad he can be a comfortable place for Suga. “I’m really good.”

“Okay,” Suga says, with upturned lips and narrowed eyes, still trying to figure Daichi out. “Let’s get some sleep then.

“Your hair’s still wet,” Daichi points out. “You’ll get a chill.”

“I think that’s a myth.”

“I think you should dry your hair.”

“Too tired,” Suga says, dropping down on his pillow and immediately dotting it with wet spots. “My arm won’t hold the dryer up.”

“Oh my God,” Daichi says, when Suga smashes his face further into the pillow. “You’re pathetic. Sit up and I’ll do it for you.”

Suga’s turns his head to the side, peering at Daichi again. “Really?”

Daichi nods, because it’s not like its a huge favor to ask, it’s no big deal. And it’s not until they’ve moved to the edge of the room to plug Suga’s little hairdryer in, and Suga is sitting in front of him—with his hair curling at the nape of his neck, his shirt pressed to the damp skin at his shoulder blades—that Daichi fully grasps what he’s signed on for here.

“Is... is this okay?” he asks over the hum of the dryer, his fingers beginning to card carefully through Suga’s tangled hair.

“You can be rougher!” Suga tells him loudly. “Move it around more.”

Daichi goes hot as a blush washes from his chest up to his ears. He tugs his fingers through Suga’s hair to lift it as he moves the dryer around, pulling a little when a loose knot catches so he can smooth it out.

“Good!” Suga says. “God, I should always ask you to do this.”

“You didn’t ask me,” Daichi reminds him. “You were just useless.”

He can’t hear Suga’s laughter over the hairdryer, but he sees the movement of it in his back, and he has to stop himself from pressing a hand to it so he can feel it too. It’s a little hard to stop, when Suga’s hair is dry and silky soft between his fingers, and he knows he doesn’t really need to be touching it anymore.

“Alright,” he says finally, shutting off the dryer and letting himself drink in the shine of Suga’s hair and the length of his spine under his thin shirt. “Bed.”

“Yes, Captain,” Suga says, shooting Daichi a smile over his shoulder. It’s a little tired, and very cheeky. He’s going to be the death of Daichi.

They stretch out side by side with the lights off and their teammates talking and shifting around them. Daichi lets the noise and movement continue for a few more minutes before bellowing, “That’s enough! Eyes and mouths closed. I should only hear snoring from here on out.”

Suga snickers, and Daichi shoves him, but Suga rolls right back so he’s facing Daichi again.

“Night,” he whispers.  

“Goodnight,” Daichi mouths back to him before closing his eyes.

He tells himself not to wait for it, not to even think about Suga moving closer to him, maybe touching him. He does such a good job of listening to himself that he actually falls asleep, probably before anyone else. But then he wakes again to silence, and careful fingertips skimming over his wrist. It’s feels like intentional movement, hesitant and slow. Suga’s breath is warm on Daichi’s shoulder, so he knows he’s close, but he’s too afraid to open his eyes and see him. If he does that, Suga might stop, he might not do this again.

But God, he might be doing this in his sleep, and if it’s nothing more than that for Suga, Daichi needs to get it together and stop staring at Suga the way he has been. Really needs to stop thinking of him the way he does.

He tries counting in his head, with the intention of opening his eyes when he reaches ten. He winds up at fifty three, and then Suga’s fingers trail down his wrist to his palm, before pressing their hands together in a tight hold. His forehead coming to rest against Daichi’s shoulder as a soft sigh leaves him.

Daichi is in agony. This is the most amazing thing he’s ever felt, and they only have one more night after this.

“Suga?” he whispers, even though he knows it’s too late. Suga’s head is heavy against him, his breathing even. Daichi lets out his own sigh, shifting his head slightly until he can rest it on Suga’s. “This is nice,” he adds, so quietly Suga wouldn't be able to hear it even if he was awake. It’s probably cowardly, but it leaves Daichi feeling weirdly proud. He said something that’s true and kind of terrifying, and maybe next time he can say it loud enough for Suga to hear.

*

In the morning Suga’s head is back on his own pillow, his face turned away from Daichi. But underneath Daichi’s blanket, there are still slender fingers woven between his own. Daichi could let go before Suga wakes up, but he doesn’t. He stares at the ceiling as the room slowly lightens, and holds Suga’s hand tight. He feels it when Suga stirs and Daichi's eyes fly closed, because he’s feeling slightly bolder, but not _that_ bold.

He lets Suga slip his hand free and listens to him moving around, talking softly to the other boys as they start to wake, before stretching and sitting up himself.

“Oh... wow,” Daichi says when he looks at Suga. He must have failed in fully drying Suga’s hair, because the night has turned it into a complete disaster. It’s so cute, paired with Suga’s sleepy eyes and rumpled shirt, that Daichi feels it like a kick to his chest.

“Shut up,” Suga pouts, after following Daichi’s eyes to his hair and patting at it. “The bedhead look is very in.”

“That’s beyond bedhead,” Daichi says, reaching to tousle it. He feels like this is okay, since he touched it last night and Suga didn’t seem to mind at all. “It’s kind of amazing.”

“Damn right it is,” Suga says, before butting his head into Daichi’s hand, which is without a doubt the most adorable thing Daichi has ever witnessed. “You’re fired as my official hair dryer though.”

“A short run,” Daichi says.

“I’ll write you a nice letter of reference.”

Daichi grins, grateful that whatever it is that’s happening at night, with the hand holding, hasn’t changed the way they are with each other during the day.

They get up and herd the tired boys out of the room to eat breakfast, and then it’s another round of drills and matches, and slightly less flying falls. They’ll be leaving first thing in the morning to head back to Miyagi, so even though everyone is exhausted there’s an energy buzzing around them all as they pack up their things that night. The last night of camp. The last camp ever, for the third years.

“Should we talk about it?” Suga asks, after spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste. They're alone in the bathroom, and Daichi stares back at him with wide eyes.

“Huh?” he says. “About—”

“The end of an era,” Suga says, and Daichi’s heart starts beating again. He’s relieved and extremely disappointed. “I can’t believe we won’t do this again.”

“Me neither,” Daichi says, rinsing off his toothbrush. “I... don’t really want to talk about it though. It’s just too…”

Too sad. Too impossible to believe that they’ll be graduating soon, and they won’t have this partnership anymore. This team to lead, and the incredible closeness that comes from winning and losing and hoping together.

“Yeah,” Suga agrees, able to fill in the blank on his own. “Let’s be positive then.”

Daichi’s not sure how to do that, but he nods his head.

“We could tie bows in Asahi’s hair after he falls asleep. That would cheer us up.”

“But then we’d have a sad, embarrassed Asahi the whole ride home,” Daichi says even though it pains him to, because this would definitely also be hilarious.

“Party pooper,” Suga says. “We could pretend we’re first years, then, and we still have years of camps and games ahead of us.”

“We could,” Daichi says, but he doesn’t really want to do that either. He wants years and years of being with Suga ahead of him so terribly that he doesn’t even know what to do with the feeling. “Or we could just… enjoy our last night.”

Suga hums, considering this. His eyes are a little sad, but he smiles at Daichi and lets their shoulders brush as they walk down the hall. “Okay, let’s do that,” he says.

So they do. They play silly games with the rest of the team, and Daichi pretends he doesn’t see Suga slipping them all candies even though everyone’s brushed their teeth, and they tell ghost stories with the lights off and their phones glowing like flashlights.

He and Suga stay up talking quietly as everyone drops off around them, and they don’t mention the hand holding, or the era ending. Just favorite memories, and stories they both know, but like to tell again together.

Eventually they both fall quiet and Daichi can’t quite keep his eyes open. He’s still awake though, when he feels the slight shift of his sleeping mat as Suga moves closer. He feels Suga’s cheek come to rest on his shoulder, his hand slipping right into Daichi’s the way it has the past two nights. And then he feels his heart flying and his pulse thudding in his ears when he opens his eyes and squeezes Suga’s hand tight.

Suga goes very still and quiet, but Daichi knows this time that he isn’t asleep.

“Suga.”

“I’m sorry,” Suga whispers, not letting go of Daichi’s hand, but ducking his head so his face is hidden against Daichi’s arm. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just don’t want to let go of you.”

“What?” Daichi asks, confused by Suga’s words and the hitch in his quiet voice. “Suga, no, don’t be sorry. What’s going on?”

Suga looks up, but Daichi can’t read his expression, especially in the dark of the room. He shifts onto his side so they can at least face each other, keeping their hands still clasped together, because he doesn’t want Suga to think that’s a thing he needs to apologize for.

“I just… I know you don’t want to talk about it, but every night I’ve been laying here thinking about how it’s the last time we’ll ever get to do this, and how I’m going to miss you so much I don’t know how I’ll stand it, and how…”

Daichi waits for him to go on, but he’s biting his lip now and seems to have stalled.

“Of course we can talk about it, Suga. I just didn’t want to because you keep holding my hand like this and I—”

“Wait, you’ve been awake? Every time?”

“Yeah, God, I’m sorry. I didn't say anything because I didn’t want you to stop. And I didn’t want to find out that it was just because you’re going to miss being on the team together. Not when I—”

“When you... what?” Suga asks when Daichi abruptly stops himself.

“When I want,” Daichi begins, then pauses to take a deep breath. If Suga is brave enough to hold his hand, then he can be brave enough to do this. “I want you to do it because... you like me. Like, the way I like _you._ Which is… a lot.”

“Is it?” Suga asks, his grip tightening on Daichi’s hand. Daichi can just make out a smile beginning to grow in the darkness. “That would be really good news, because I’ve felt like a creep this week, but I just... I needed to be close to you.”

“Suga... this has been the best week of my life. Having you this close.”

Suga doesn’t say anything, but he pulls Daichi’s hand until the back of it is held to Suga’s chest, with Suga’s hand keeping it pressed there. He ducks his head again, but not to hide from Daichi this time, just to find his forehead and lean his own against it.

“This—Suga, this means you like—”

“I like you too, Daichi, _yes,”_ Suga says with a soft laugh that catches in the middle, his free hand coming up to hold Daichi’s cheek. “I want to be close to you because I want _this,_ I want… I want this to be the beginning.”

“Me too,” Daichi says, letting his other hand cup Suga’s shoulder. It isn’t bare this time, but it’s still perfectly warm and solid in his grip. “I’m okay with this era ending if we’re starting a new one.”

“One where I get to do this,” Suga says, and then he tilts his face to press a quick kiss to the corner of Daichi’s mouth. “Damn, I think I missed.”

“It’s dark,” Daichi says, even though it really doesn’t matter, it still felt right on target to him. “But you definitely get to do that. This will be the kissing era.”

“Perfect,” Suga says, his smile curving up against Daichi’s cheek, before he shifts to find his lips again. Daichi moves with him, angling his face so they can kiss properly, sweet and soft in the quiet of the night. “I think you might be very good at this, Captain.”

“I think you should keep calling me that when I’m not a captain anymore,” Daichi says, even though sharing that thought makes him blush, and Suga can probably feel the heat of it with his hand still holding Daichi’s face.

“Done,” Suga agrees. “Some things will carry over, after all. From the the first era.”

“The one where we met.”

“The one where you fell for me,” Suga says, and there’s enough light from the risen moon now for Daichi to see his sly smile.

He nods, brushing his thumb over Suga’s chin, so the tip of it just skims the softness of his bottom lip, still a little wet from their kiss. “That’s the one.”

It happened so gradually over the years that he’s not even sure _when_ exactly he fell, he just knows that somewhere between early practices, and late night phone calls, and growing from awkward first years to slightly less awkward third years, Suga has become irreplaceable. Not just as a friend or a teammate, but as something new, because he can’t look at him now without seeing how defined his cheekbones have become, how long his legs have gotten, and how kissable his lips are. He can’t imagine wanting to kiss anyone else.

“Just so you know,” Suga says, “you’re very cute when you’re fake sleeping.”

“Should we tell the first years I fooled you?”

“We should _not_ do that,” Suga says firmly. “I’m really glad you were actually awake though.”

Daichi is also really glad about that. And glad that he can tell Suga how cute he is when he’s sleeping, too, and how good he looked in those shorts yesterday, and how much Daichi can’t wait to kiss him again when they’re somewhere else, somewhere private.

He’s especially glad that they’re both definitely awake right now, and they’re holding hands under the blanket. On purpose. Because they feel the same way. Because even though this is their last night here, it’s not really the end of anything, just a shift into something more. Into an era where Daichi gets to kiss the tip of Suga’s nose as they say goodnight, and Suga can tuck his head under Daichi’s chin and fit like he was made to be there, and there will be no need to let go of each other’s hands when the morning comes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm [ellessey-writes](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [ellessey_](https://twitter.com/ellessey_) on Twitter, and you can find the rest of my AO3 DaiSuga works [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=836528&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=0&user_id=Ellessey).


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